I am a 33 yr old woman and I was diagnosed November of 2007 with a rare cancer. I was away from my family for 8 months. Getting back into the “swing” of things was difficult for me, too. I had a year off after extensive treatment and surgery to be diagnosed with stage 4 this past October. Nothing changed much from the 1st time(after chemo) to today. Sexually, I still have extreme discomfort when we begin. I realized the hard way, that during my time away from my husband, the food I was consuming and the drugs for pain I was prescribed, had caused me severe constipation. This made my muscles and bladder weak. No one tells you that your diet can play a big role in so many things. That bout of constipation had weaken my muscles causing me discomfort sexually to this day. Of course, returning to a strong dose of chemo has not made anything any better. My counts get weakened, leaving my skin extremely vulnerable to irritation and take longer than normal time to heal itself. For me, sex can make the next few days of urination sting. Not the most romantic thing to have to discuss with your lover. I feel it ruins the mood, no matter how understanding they might be. Water based lubrication helps, as I am very dry because of all the chemo. Stay far away from anything warming or flavored. If you are as sensitive as I am, they can actually give you 1st degree burns caused by the friction. Try things slowly and keep at it. The more you try the easier it gets. Another good tip is to try different positions. You may find that your favorite is no longer that but something else works so much better. I enjoy sex as much as the rest but so many changes to our body from chemo, surgery or radiation can leave us feeling very self concious. It’s normal and yet I have to keep telling myself that easing up on my insecurities will help me enjoy these moments so much better. I hope and pray we all find our way through this journey, happily…and an end to cancer soon so that these discussions will be mere moments in time that our children, family and friends will never have to endure.
Thank You SO Much “D” for your post! I am very glad that you were the first to send me a post!!